"I believe in the sun when it isn’t shining. I believe in love even when I don’t feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent."
::Found scratched into the wall of a concentration camp after the Holocaust::
Here is a challenge I received in my Old Testament Message class yesterday morning. AIM classes really get you thinking.
Have you ever thought about what would happen to your faith if you lost everything? Think right now about your greatest fear in life. One of mine is that I will wind up alone. Now, just for a moment, imagine that whatever your greatest fear is, it happens. I never marry. I find myself one day in a nursing home, no husband, no children. Or, tomorrow you get a phone call that your entire family died in a car accident. Your best friend was murdered. You lose your job, your house, everything. You are arrested for a crime you didn't commit. You find out you have terminal cancer with 6 months to live. Your life is in absolute shambles and nothing is left.
Now what do you think about God?
Do you still believe in Him?
It happened to Job.
Because God doesn't promise us a happy ending here on earth. He doesn't say that life will be fair. In fact, He tells us up front that we will go through trials, persecution. God says that LIFE IS NOT FAIR. God is more interested in the development of your faith than your physical pleasure.He loves you enough to put you through every disaster, every heartbreak, every pain, every suffering, every struggle, every disease, every hurt, every loss, every single thing we fear so that your faith will stand strong on the day of judgment.
So what about your faith?
I know the faith of one unnamed Jew, locked away in the darkness of a concentration camp, watching friends and family be murdered before his eyes. He saw Satan. And do you know what he wrote?
"I believe in the sun when it isn’t shining. I believe in love even when I don’t feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent."
Do you?
Will you believe if, for the rest of your life, all of the evidence around you says not to believe in Him?
Will you believe in God if for the rest of your life you don’t get one sign that He is with you?
But here is the amazing thing. God does put signs all around us that He loves us. The fact that you are here, breathing, alive is proof of God's love for you. He created this world for us. He gave His Son for us. Jesus died for us. God made beauty and love and truth as a sign that He loves YOU. This world is full of signs, if only we would open our eyes. Each new day, each sunrise is a sign that He is with you, even if you can't see Him. He will never leave you, even when you can't feel Him. So trust in Him, and believe. No matter what.
"When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close?
Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can't deny
No, I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see You beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Your love is rushing in
So I run straight into Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do
Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can't deny
No, I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me
You are with me."
::"Light Up the Sky" by The Afters::
-ej
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
::After AIM::
"Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry...I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am." ::1 Corinthians 7:1, 7-8::
[Disclaimer: This post is about AIM and dating relationships. It's a long post, so I'm not offended if you aren't interested and don't read it. Many only know that AIM discourages dating, so I thought I would explain AIM's standpoint as well as my own opinion on the rules.]
Tonight we had a purity class. It was rather repetitive as I have heard the same message many times before, but a good reminder for all of us nonetheless. AIM, like Harding, is a place where many find their future spouses. We are united in common purpose, ideals, and time. Everything we do is with the same group of people. We live together, eat together, go to the same classes, same trips, and just hang out together. On the mission field with a smaller group, we'll do many of the same things as well as go through culture shock and grow in faith together. It's easy to see why AIMers wind up falling in love by the end of two years.
Our directors have no problem with AIMers marrying AIMers, they even encourage it-- with one major condition: that it's AFTER AIM. This is emphasized constantly. When it was announced that two of our AIM assistants got engaged two weekends ago, there was celebration as well as a reminder that they started dating AFTER AIM.
Dating is highly discouraged during AIM. It is not because there is anything wrong with dating, holding hands, or kissing. It's simply because dating is a distraction. It can be a very good distraction, but we are here for one purpose: to become a missionary apprentice. Our directors want that to be our major focus. As I came to AIM, I knew all of this. It really isn't too much to ask. I am here for that one reason: to learn how to serve God best as a missionary, not to find a mate. It's not that it's impossible to be a missionary married or even with a family; the point is that in this program, AIM, they want to limit distractions.
AIM is an intensive program for only two years. I am content knowing that I won't be getting married within two years; since there isn't even a guy right now, that's not a big deal to me. However, while AIM discourages dating, it is allowed with strict guidelines. I know quite a few AIMers who are dating, but all are in long distance relationships. The conditions are to limit physical contact completely. No holding hands, kissing, or long hugs. This may seem extreme, but there's no denying the fact that physical touch escalates a romantic relationship. That is why they don't allow it. Dating relationships also create...drama. It's hard to forget the average age of AIMers is 19. Many are just out of high school and don't know what to do without drama.
If a relationship appears to be becoming a distraction, the AIM directors will give them the option to break up and remain, or leave to pursue a more serious relationship. It's not the same as getting "kicked out," but rather I see it as a test as to where your main focus lies. A relationship does not need to get serious during these 2 years; there's plenty of time after AIM, especially if you become good friends first. Imagine a relationship built on two years of strong friendship! It's a foundation I would like for my marriage.
It may seem crazy to date without holding hands even, but really, I'm not here to date. Who knows if I will find a guy I'm interested in, but even if I do, that is not my purpose for being here. I have committed to AIM, to myself, and to God to be completely focused on learning how to serve God best as a missionary. I am not opposed to dating, but I do not want a relationship to consume my concentration for these 2 years. It's only 2 years. Why not pursue strong friendships based upon our commonalities and see where God takes us after our time on the field?
There is one other view I feel it is important to mention: the apostle Paul's. In 1 Corinthians 7 (quoted at the very beginning of this post), Paul makes an argument that it is better to stay single. Now, I personally want to get married. I want a family, and I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life. But there is truth in that some can better serve God by remaining single. Paul admits that not all have the gift to remain single; it is not a sin to marry or to remain single. Paul, however, was able to travel freely as a missionary because he was single. The same could be said for us AIMers. For now, these specific two years, we can learn and serve better as missionary apprentices while remaining single.
I realize that AIM's position is very strict. I don't know that I completely agree with it. I do know that I came to AIM knowing their rules and guidelines and agreed to follow them for the two years I am an AIMer. I knew what I was getting into; I am grateful for the intensive and focused nature of AIM. I do not believe that it is for everyone. There are other ways to serve God and become a missionary, but I felt called to this specific path. Who knows, maybe I will marry an AIMer, but I do know that any weddings will be AFTER AIM.
-ej
[Disclaimer: This post is about AIM and dating relationships. It's a long post, so I'm not offended if you aren't interested and don't read it. Many only know that AIM discourages dating, so I thought I would explain AIM's standpoint as well as my own opinion on the rules.]
Tonight we had a purity class. It was rather repetitive as I have heard the same message many times before, but a good reminder for all of us nonetheless. AIM, like Harding, is a place where many find their future spouses. We are united in common purpose, ideals, and time. Everything we do is with the same group of people. We live together, eat together, go to the same classes, same trips, and just hang out together. On the mission field with a smaller group, we'll do many of the same things as well as go through culture shock and grow in faith together. It's easy to see why AIMers wind up falling in love by the end of two years.
Our directors have no problem with AIMers marrying AIMers, they even encourage it-- with one major condition: that it's AFTER AIM. This is emphasized constantly. When it was announced that two of our AIM assistants got engaged two weekends ago, there was celebration as well as a reminder that they started dating AFTER AIM.
Dating is highly discouraged during AIM. It is not because there is anything wrong with dating, holding hands, or kissing. It's simply because dating is a distraction. It can be a very good distraction, but we are here for one purpose: to become a missionary apprentice. Our directors want that to be our major focus. As I came to AIM, I knew all of this. It really isn't too much to ask. I am here for that one reason: to learn how to serve God best as a missionary, not to find a mate. It's not that it's impossible to be a missionary married or even with a family; the point is that in this program, AIM, they want to limit distractions.
AIM is an intensive program for only two years. I am content knowing that I won't be getting married within two years; since there isn't even a guy right now, that's not a big deal to me. However, while AIM discourages dating, it is allowed with strict guidelines. I know quite a few AIMers who are dating, but all are in long distance relationships. The conditions are to limit physical contact completely. No holding hands, kissing, or long hugs. This may seem extreme, but there's no denying the fact that physical touch escalates a romantic relationship. That is why they don't allow it. Dating relationships also create...drama. It's hard to forget the average age of AIMers is 19. Many are just out of high school and don't know what to do without drama.
If a relationship appears to be becoming a distraction, the AIM directors will give them the option to break up and remain, or leave to pursue a more serious relationship. It's not the same as getting "kicked out," but rather I see it as a test as to where your main focus lies. A relationship does not need to get serious during these 2 years; there's plenty of time after AIM, especially if you become good friends first. Imagine a relationship built on two years of strong friendship! It's a foundation I would like for my marriage.
It may seem crazy to date without holding hands even, but really, I'm not here to date. Who knows if I will find a guy I'm interested in, but even if I do, that is not my purpose for being here. I have committed to AIM, to myself, and to God to be completely focused on learning how to serve God best as a missionary. I am not opposed to dating, but I do not want a relationship to consume my concentration for these 2 years. It's only 2 years. Why not pursue strong friendships based upon our commonalities and see where God takes us after our time on the field?
There is one other view I feel it is important to mention: the apostle Paul's. In 1 Corinthians 7 (quoted at the very beginning of this post), Paul makes an argument that it is better to stay single. Now, I personally want to get married. I want a family, and I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life. But there is truth in that some can better serve God by remaining single. Paul admits that not all have the gift to remain single; it is not a sin to marry or to remain single. Paul, however, was able to travel freely as a missionary because he was single. The same could be said for us AIMers. For now, these specific two years, we can learn and serve better as missionary apprentices while remaining single.
I realize that AIM's position is very strict. I don't know that I completely agree with it. I do know that I came to AIM knowing their rules and guidelines and agreed to follow them for the two years I am an AIMer. I knew what I was getting into; I am grateful for the intensive and focused nature of AIM. I do not believe that it is for everyone. There are other ways to serve God and become a missionary, but I felt called to this specific path. Who knows, maybe I will marry an AIMer, but I do know that any weddings will be AFTER AIM.
-ej
Sunday, August 22, 2010
::Sisterhood::
"The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend."
::Cali Rae Turner::
My sister came to visit me this weekend! She was driving to Arkansas from California over 3 days for college and came to stay the second night, Friday night, with me. I love my sister; she is my best friend. Even though it's only been two weeks since I saw her last, I have missed her. I got used to seeing her every day all of last year at Harding, but this year will be different. Next year will be even harder, considering I will be in another country. We plan on talking on Skype...a LOT.
If I were to plan my wedding right now (hypothetically!), my sister would, without a doubt, be my maid of honor. We are only 2 1/2 years apart, and I am grateful for the closeness of our relationship. She is the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. Even though she's younger, I look up to her as an example and an inspiration. She pushes me to be my best and to continue growing in my faith. I would not be who I am today without her; she knows me better than anyone else. It just felt right for her to be here with me in Lubbock.
I wish she could've stayed longer, but we had a wonderful afternoon looking around Lubbock Christian and touring the AIM classroom. We ate at Cracker Barrel (a favorite for both of us), and my wonderful sister even paid for my dinner! We stayed up watching Pushing Daisies and laughing, what we do best :). I know that wherever our paths take us, whether we are near or far apart, my sister will always be my best friend.
-ej
::Cali Rae Turner::
My sister came to visit me this weekend! She was driving to Arkansas from California over 3 days for college and came to stay the second night, Friday night, with me. I love my sister; she is my best friend. Even though it's only been two weeks since I saw her last, I have missed her. I got used to seeing her every day all of last year at Harding, but this year will be different. Next year will be even harder, considering I will be in another country. We plan on talking on Skype...a LOT.
If I were to plan my wedding right now (hypothetically!), my sister would, without a doubt, be my maid of honor. We are only 2 1/2 years apart, and I am grateful for the closeness of our relationship. She is the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. Even though she's younger, I look up to her as an example and an inspiration. She pushes me to be my best and to continue growing in my faith. I would not be who I am today without her; she knows me better than anyone else. It just felt right for her to be here with me in Lubbock.
I wish she could've stayed longer, but we had a wonderful afternoon looking around Lubbock Christian and touring the AIM classroom. We ate at Cracker Barrel (a favorite for both of us), and my wonderful sister even paid for my dinner! We stayed up watching Pushing Daisies and laughing, what we do best :). I know that wherever our paths take us, whether we are near or far apart, my sister will always be my best friend.
-ej
Friday, August 20, 2010
::Violin Heart Strings::
"A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?" ::Albert Einstein::
There's something about violins and cellos that touches me more than any other instrument or sound. Violin/Cello music creates in me elation, tranquility, longing, and utter joy. When I get married one day (at least 2 years away AFTER AIM), I want violins to be played, maybe even the prelude to Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G; a masterpiece which has brought me to tears.
Sometime this summer, I discovered the following song played on a cello and piano which combines Taylor Swift's "Love Story" (one of my favorite songs) and Coldplay's "Viva la Vida" (with its great violin melody). It is an incredible piece of music and worth sharing. Enjoy :).
-ej
There's something about violins and cellos that touches me more than any other instrument or sound. Violin/Cello music creates in me elation, tranquility, longing, and utter joy. When I get married one day (at least 2 years away AFTER AIM), I want violins to be played, maybe even the prelude to Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G; a masterpiece which has brought me to tears.
Sometime this summer, I discovered the following song played on a cello and piano which combines Taylor Swift's "Love Story" (one of my favorite songs) and Coldplay's "Viva la Vida" (with its great violin melody). It is an incredible piece of music and worth sharing. Enjoy :).
-ej
Thursday, August 19, 2010
::Doctor Knows Best::
"But when ill indeed, Even dismissing the doctor don't always succeed."
::Victor Hugo::
I've been sick for 9 days out of 13 days that I have been in Lubbock. It started as allergies, but quickly turned into a beast. I tried to wait it out, taking Tylenol cold, Advil cold and sinus, and Robitussin but nothing really worked. My voice was completely gone for a day, but it only returned sounding deep and stuffy. I'm afraid that some of the AIMers may think this is what I really sound like all the time, but it is most definitely NOT.
I finally gave in and went to the doctor on Tuesday to find out that I had a sinus infection that had progressed really badly and who knows what else. The doctor could hear me wheezing as I breathed "normally", and I was running nearly a 100 degree fever. I got a steroid shot, some serious antibiotics, and a super cough syrup with cough suppressant, antihistamine, and decongestant all in one. I was also told it would continue to get worse before it would get better.
Over 48 hours since I started antibiotics, I am finally starting to feel them begin to work. I can breathe so much easier, and the coughing fits are less often. I couldn't be happier. Being sick is no fun, especially when I'm falling behind in a few classes. I haven't missed anything, but I'm exhausted. Hopefully in a day or two, I won't feel like my head is going to explode and will be able sleep an entire night of sleep. I also learned a few things: I am officially allergic to Lubbock; I should go to the doctor at the first sign of such illness; and insurance is a marvelous thing.
Please keep me in your prayers, as well as some of the other AIMers who have also fallen ill already. It's rough to be sick your first and second weeks of school.
-ej
::Victor Hugo::
I've been sick for 9 days out of 13 days that I have been in Lubbock. It started as allergies, but quickly turned into a beast. I tried to wait it out, taking Tylenol cold, Advil cold and sinus, and Robitussin but nothing really worked. My voice was completely gone for a day, but it only returned sounding deep and stuffy. I'm afraid that some of the AIMers may think this is what I really sound like all the time, but it is most definitely NOT.
I finally gave in and went to the doctor on Tuesday to find out that I had a sinus infection that had progressed really badly and who knows what else. The doctor could hear me wheezing as I breathed "normally", and I was running nearly a 100 degree fever. I got a steroid shot, some serious antibiotics, and a super cough syrup with cough suppressant, antihistamine, and decongestant all in one. I was also told it would continue to get worse before it would get better.
Over 48 hours since I started antibiotics, I am finally starting to feel them begin to work. I can breathe so much easier, and the coughing fits are less often. I couldn't be happier. Being sick is no fun, especially when I'm falling behind in a few classes. I haven't missed anything, but I'm exhausted. Hopefully in a day or two, I won't feel like my head is going to explode and will be able sleep an entire night of sleep. I also learned a few things: I am officially allergic to Lubbock; I should go to the doctor at the first sign of such illness; and insurance is a marvelous thing.
Please keep me in your prayers, as well as some of the other AIMers who have also fallen ill already. It's rough to be sick your first and second weeks of school.
-ej
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